Post by kayleigh/kk on Jan 30, 2014 21:14:23 GMT -5
Im so confussed i just want answers to help me understand and know ur final thoughts. If u were scared? If u hurt? What really happened? I dont think we will ever truly know. I think we deserve that much and so does the kids. Im hoping that the only other person that could tell us will someday man up and tell us. All that had to happen was to pull over an him go to jail 1 yr tops it sure wasnt worth ur life. I started off trying to not get mad but as time goes by with no answers its not happening. MAN UP ADMIT WHAT HAPPENED AND GIVE EVERYONE CLOSEURE! Instead of out trying to get drugs again already focus on the life u took from my cousin.
Post by Kayleigh/kk on Feb 1, 2014 21:13:24 GMT -5
Why is it when u have someone you could spend everyday with you take it for granted and when their gone every minute that person is on your mind and you feel like you need them to be right with you all the time and can't have them! Maybe god is showing us to never take stuff or family for granted if ur sick atleast ur alive, if ur sad atleast theirs tomorrow, if things are looking bad someone has always got it worse then u, guess after you hit rock bottom you realize that all the time u were seeking happiness u see that u had it all along and chased it away!!!! I wish I had realized before my happiness was took away she was my big sister she always cheered me up and now I lost my happiness forever
Hey sis I just wanted to let you know I love an miss you there was another wreck lastnight another woman was killed in the crash. Everyday I have a constant reminder in one way or another that u are gone. I miss u so much can't wait to see u again.
I think I am finally going numb with all this I started going to church to feel closer to you again. Then it turned to anger with why he took you. Out of everyone you. Now I don't feel anything but empty and not like myself at all I feel like someone else is living my life for me. And I'm just watching everything. I don't know what to do what to feel or how to cope with everything I keep imaging the whole wreck u covering your face and screaming and being slung all over the vehicle all the way to the last breath you took! All day it's been like a little home movie playing in my head over and over and over I can't make it go away but at the same time I don't want it to I want to know what happened to you I want to make sure that everything turns out the way you would want it to. I want you to know I can't control the thoughts and feelings I have been having the last few days and I wouldn't want to disappoint you in any way but I feel like I'm at the end of the road with everything I can't figure out what point I'm at right now I feel like the only thing that would make me feel alive again is if it with me. Maybe something will change and everything will turn to the positive side I can find a reason to be me again but I can't be me without you.I feel like I'm rambling on and on and pouting but I hafe to let it out somehow. I'm hoping that I will wake up and this was all just a bad dream. I can't stand not knowing what all you went through. I keep thinking if I figure something new out it will relieve me but It could do me in at the same time. I want you to know how much I love you and how much I miss you. I think of you a big majority of every day. My life without you is so much diffrent I can't adjust to not having you to relate to everything I go through. I'm So depressed everyday I can't function I just want to just let everything go and wait to be with you. When I drive I think about how you was killed and I want to do exactly how you did so I would feel like you did when it all happened I don't want you having to go through anything I haven't had to. I really need your help I don't feel anything anymore.
Post by Kayleigh/kk on Feb 11, 2014 10:25:21 GMT -5
I was just thinking of you as always and wanted to tell you I love you and miss you! We're taking the kids to gattitown today and I wish you were here to go with us! I know if u could rewind time you would be so happy to have a second chance at everything and it kills me that it has to be like this life is so unfair!! It shouldn't have been u. I love you Sissy
Post by Kayleigh/kk on Feb 13, 2014 19:01:09 GMT -5
Hey sis I was just thinking about you again and wanted to talk to you for a minute. I miss you so much. Your birthday is just 3 months away I'd give anything if u were here so we could go get our hair done together and just spend time together ... I got ur air freshener out of ur car and hung it in mine it is all I have left of you. When I drive I hold the flower one in my hand and rub it and when the heat is on you can smell them and it reminds me of you especially the ed hardy one and the flower one u had I had one just like it in my car now I replaced it with yours. I miss you I still can't believe your gone!!! Love always kk
Post by Kayleigh/kk on Feb 19, 2014 16:57:38 GMT -5
Sis I miss you more and more everyday something is always happening to remind me of you it seems like there has been more wrecks this year than ever before but maybe I just never paid attention until now and a lot has been similar to yours a man and woman and the man survived one In particular the woman was pronounced dead at the scene and the man flew to Houston valley tn. So every time this happens it's like reruns in my head. What if.. U had stayed home that night, you guys had pulled over, stayed in Walmart longer, been going in the opposite direction, that cop had not tried to stop you all, or just if maybe had seat belts on. It could have been different why it wasn't is what I don't understand. What if it had just broke an arm or leg I'd be able to help you. You were so close to the hospital and still didn't make it. I am constantly thinking and trying to figure out what happened in that car that night and I will I promise. I will not stop until I do! You were a really special woman everyone has their problems but you knew how to deal with them and still be a great mother at the same time. Why this had to happen to you is a puzzle to me I guess god had a bigger plan for you. I just want you to know that this isn't ending like this I went and saw ur car and I'm hoping the cops saw something that will give us all a little closure and u justice I miss you more and more everyday and the more I miss you and think of you the more I think of ways to find out more about that wreck and I will I'm not letting it end with u being gone and that's the end there's a whole other chapter I promise I love you!!!!!!! Kk
Post by Kayleigh/kk on Feb 21, 2014 21:11:03 GMT -5
I just heard tonight that when you finally got removed from the car you looked up and smiled I can just see you smiling and then resting and although u are gone I still feel like you will be with us again some day and by u smiling at least you weren't hurting to bad maybe you saw god coming down to get you!
Post by Kayleigh/kk on Feb 24, 2014 13:40:39 GMT -5
As if I don't have enough going on I got drugs starting to cause me problems. And I don't even do them! I'm so stressed out I don't know why shut always happens to me. I miss you sis I wish u could have been here for me to talk to about what's going on I love you I wish I could talk to you.