In loving memory of Debra jones cress Mar 5, 2014 15:20:33 GMT -5
Post by kayleigh/kk on Mar 5, 2014 15:20:33 GMT -5
Today is Dev's birthday. This time year before last we were at burger king together decorating. i remember you saying god kk dont let me fall while standing in the chair hanging stars on the ceiling.I remember you starring out the window and i felt sorry for you because i could tell something was wrong. Now this year i am doing it by myself in the same place i dont know how well that will go with me thinking about where you sit and where we last decorated together. i miss you more than i could ever express. all i do is think about you. on kyler and brexton's last party i was helping you cook out and you forgot to get cheese so brian went to get the cheese and i remember you saying that you sucked at getting parties together but you didnt and i was thinking that you were a great mom and how lucky i was to be doing it with you. we are so much alike that it isn't funny i could tell you just wanted to get everything finished that your nerves was all to piece's and yesterday when i was getting party supplies i ran around like a chicken with it's head cut off and then i thought about you doing that at kyler and brexton's. It just keeps hitting me over and over that this is real and i cant have you to do these things with anymore. And now around christmas is a time i dont want to remember because thats when i lost you. i think of summer i think of us laying in the sun together when we were younger and i dont really look forward to anything anymore. i cant help but think of how things could have been diffrent if one little thing had been diffrent you may still be here. i feel ok some days and then other's i can hardley function at all. i hate this whole situation i miss you so much sis and i dont want you to think you are already forgot about because that is not at all the case i miss you more and more as the day's go. and not one day has went by that you havent crossed my mind atleast once. i dont know how to explain it to you that you really meant the world to me. i just want you to know that every little thing we done together the decorating the talking on the phone and just talking to you at gran's that is what i have left of you and all those times are kept deep inside my heart and they will remain there until i see you again. i just wish i could have one more day with you. I LOVE AND MISS YOU SIS I'D GIVE ANYTHING FOR THIS TO JUST BE A DREAM.!!!